thediastema's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Proof incontrovertible that men worldwide harbour crippling delusions about their looks. I meant to post this a while ago, but it has taken me forever to dig up the URL. Look what Yuppie and I found bookmarked on the most coveted computer in the Cage! The discovery was a crucible in which ironclad alibis were forged. "Yuppie, was this your finding?" "I never use this computer." "I never do, either!" "Yeah, right." "Yeah, RIGHT, yourself." "I think it's Olly's." Accusations have been zipping about the office like dragonflies in the fiercest exchange of allegations since we discovered the bookmarks for Men's Health Magazine on the terminal Yuppie and I do like. HM believes it is Tex's bookmark, and that Tex has entered the model search in high hopes of becoming the next Michelin Man. Molly and I pored over the first 700 or so of them today, picking out nominees for such titles as "Mr. Vaguely Resembles Pelican" and "Mr. Just Discovered KPT" (whose challenger, by the way, earned the honourable mention of "Mr. Looks Like He Photographed Himself Through a Doughnut" from Yuppie, and "Mr. Looks Like He Projected His Image Into a Commode full of 200 Flushes" from me). Molly picked this one to be Olly's new wallpaper. And this guy scored the crown for "Mr. Must Have Leprosy or Something." Here's Molly's vote for "Manboobs of the Year." If you still haven't had enough, check out my recommendation for "Mr. Notice the Careful Use of Shadows and Light" and for "Winner, Kenny G. Lookalike Contest." Last guy I'll mention is the winner of the prestigious Allan Guttman Award for Fashion Achievement. (That's a little shout-out to my fellow Guttman alumna out there.) ~~ The other day, HM birthdayed me. He waltzed into the office with bagels and coffee, and he decorated my work station with signs boasting old inside jokes and a great big loooooove blanket suspended above my head. We were getting along our best ever until he discovered dried Coca Cola on the door jamb. "I don't understand this." "What's that, sir?" "There's dried Coke on here." Don't crack a smile don't crack a smile don't crack a smile don't crack a smile don't I convulsed with uncontrollable silent laughter. "You?" "I don't know what you mean." "YOU?!" "Buh...buh...HE STARTED IT?" "Who?" Subdued, through a mouthful of bagel: "I'n'know..." "Tex?" "No!" "Olly?" "No!" A pause. "Yuppie." Shifty eyes. "...Don't be silly." "I knew it, I KNEW IT! You have such an attraction going on there!" Heh, I know. "WHAT?!" "You. You share it with Dimples, you've got a monster crush on him." I shook my head and tried like hell to act bored by the idea. "You looooove him." "I know there's some vulgar analogy here about dipping stuff in the company ink, how does that go?" Right. We were both punchy as sin for the rest of the day. ~ETK "I just found out that Zach Braff's doing a movie with Joe Flaherty, the guy Erin and Heidi know! That means I'm only 3 degrees separated from Zach Braff! WHOO!" --Jess, I've even TOUCHED THE GUY. Heh! 02:09 - 12 January, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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