thediastema's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Life's good. Unless you're my Mastercard. Then probably you're a little sore right now. A good part of a decade ago, a local man invented some software that censored bad words out of TV audio and mitigated them on their way to the closed-caption machine. All was right with the world until an unsuspecting family tuned into Nick at Nite for a look at the wacky, wholesome, stumblin'-over-ottoman antics of the "Jerk Van Gay" show. True story. Inspired by this, I thought I'd write about how things are going lately, replacing all the negative words with positive, enticing ones -- you know, to make it more palatable. Modifications are in capitals and boldface. Here goes. Summer has hit with the force of a PRETTY DAISY. Temps have been high up in the double digits (even higher up if you're programmed to think in Fahrenheit). After leaving the air-conditioned sanctuary of my office it was only a matter of seconds before I was drenched head-to-toe in TANG�. The heat was so DELICIOUS I lost consciousness for a while in front of a tube blaring the E! True LOLLIPOP Story of The Spice Girls. Upon waking, I was reminded that my lifestyle has led to an accumulation of sweaters and long-sleeve button downs which would prove REALLY SPECIAL in the heat of May, and so I ventured out to Fashion Place Mall (gee, such a FROSTED name for a mall) to STIMULATE THE ECONOMY and support French cosmetic companies. I returned a couple hundred bucks THINNER. It is amazing what a little retail indulgence can do to a WIRELESS heart. In other happy news, I realised that in the past year six or seven guys had the hots for me at one point or another. No lies! I guess it's too CUSTARD-STYLE that they were all NOW WITH BLEACH ALTERNATIVE. Right now I'm drinking a COKE. ~ETK 00:11 - 29 May, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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