thediastema's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In which I link things and dream of mediocrity. Master, Last night, among other nightmares, I dreamt I married some guy I didn't love just for the shock value (and possibly to make this other guy jealous). I was so distraught I took you two out for ice cream (for some reason it was imperative we used my Mastercard to obtain the ice cream, and I have to assume ice cream was you guys' idea because lord knows I detest the stuff) so I could whine about it while you gave yourselves brainfreezes. Also, I was attacked by a bidet. ~~ Come on, people. Take the damn friendtest. You get to pick somebody to be Satan! What more do you want in a radio button? Pretty please? And make your own tests, too, because I've got a hugeass download going and need to pass the time and I did really badly on Beatrice and FactGirl's tests because in the first instance I can't tell his crushes apart and in the second instance she wants to know if I know how many years of parochial education she's had, and I don't know how long a Catholic "year" is, dammit! I'm a miserable failure as a human being. Having said that, I command you: take the fucking test. ~~ Everyone I know is a star these days. She's co-headlining a Napa-area improv troupe. She'll be on Jeopardy! this Friday. Meanwhile, he writes satire and plays bongos, she's on the radio, and I saw a chick from our show of "Communicating Doors" in a commercial for chewing gum. I think about it, and I'm not jealous. But my wish is a really perverted one: I want to be somebody's second banana, somebody's left arm. I want to be the Supreme who had a big fight with Diana Ross and then kicked the bucket. I want to be the grocery clerk buttshotting the camera until I'm finally cued to recite my one line, trying my best to look as if I've not been waiting all day to tell Tom Selleck where the infant formula is. I want to be a second-tier star without object permanence. I want to be the world's least memorable soubrette. ~ETK 12:28 - 02 February, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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